July 29, 1981 – a Wednesday was a day of excitement for many across the world. Prince Charles was going to marry his blushing young bride Diana Spencer in a lavish wedding in London. I remember getting up early that day – and I had to if I wanted to view the wedding. This was before VCR or TIVO – no way to record.
The day was rainy and I had to work but I awoke at 5 AM – in time to watch the ceremony. I sat before my tv – sipped a cup of tea and recalled my recent trip to the UK. Less than two months before I had stood on those same London streets. The streets now filled with onlookers who wanted to be part of history.
Nobody can put on the dog like the Brits and that they did from start to finish. Not even Diana bobbling the vows could put a damper on the events. Her dad – whose health problems cause for concern had managed to walk his youngest daughter down the aisle. The couple rode in a carriage to Buckingham Palace and their life of bliss surely set.
I went to work and asked my bosses if they had watched the ceremony. Both said no but their wives had. True to form – and as required Diana soon produced an heir. By the time the couple had been married five years there were two sons. It all seems so story book – straight out of the vivid imagination of Walt Disney.
That was the problem – it was a fairy tale wedding in a world filled with people with flaws. No Prince Charming to ride in on his black horse and take her away to a perfect land. As someone once said “She who waits for her Prince might have to clean up after his horse?” Diana soon learned any voids she hoped Charles would fill would not be. He had his issues and she had hers. Unfortunately their issues were splashed across the news pages for all the world to see. He wanted someone else and she wanted what he could not give. A match made in heaven – no!! Their marriage managed to last fifteen years before it ended in divorce.
Diana became a sensation – as anyone who is photogenic is apt to be. She could make an old rag look glamorous. Little more than 16 years after their wedding the world sat before their tvs’ and watched the sad and shocking events of Diana’s death and her funeral. The same streets now a scene of grief and numbed silence. I remember these events because many a young girl has been bred to believe a man will solve all the problems when often it is a man who had created the problems one wanted to forget and leave behind.
We fall for the myth of Prince Charming. We believe there is someone out there and I do believe that. However – for whatever reason not everyone meets Mr. Prince. EHarmony and other dating sites claim great success in matching one with another. Others marry to avoid being lonely, broke, busted and disgusted. I know of one who married an admirer whom she did not care for. Her comment she decided to appreciate those who appreciate her rang true. He wanted her and although she did not want him, she wanted his income, the nice home he provided. His name reminded her of a rat – Ferman but that too could be overlooked. Maybe some day she would love him? A good choice – the moral high ground? No, but three kids later – ask her how she feels about Ferman? Did she wish to hold out for her Prince?
Take the case of Ruth and Boaz from the pages of the Bible. Ruth was an alien and thorough a number of circumstances met and married the richest man in the county. She became the great-grandmother of David and in the direct lineage of Jesus. Not too shabby! How many Ruth and Boaz are there? How many times has someone waited and waited? It does little good to cry over spilled milk but were I to do it over – should I have appreciated those who appreciated me? There have been more than one but none made my hair curl or my heart beat faster. Was I viewing life through some rose colored glasses? Did the long term emotional abuse effect my view of life – of myself as a female and thus convey unpleasant vibes to the opposite sex?
Would not surprise me as we all come across in ways we do not mean. As someone once said anyone can get married and they can. It is staying married that is difficult. One of my cousins said being married is the hardest thing she had ever had to do. I never really got to the bottom of that remark other than to realize she and her husband had little in common and were not married out of love – but out of financial necessity. I have seen that situation far more than I have Happy Ever After, my own family for example but I don’t need to elaborate.
The fact remains – most need someone. God made us to be sociable people. True there are hermits who truly don’t want anyone in their lives. They are happy to travel alone, surf life as a solo. Most do not. Most fall into the category of wanting someone, kids, family. God stated in Genesis it is not good for man to be alone. If it is bad for a man – what about a woman?
For those of you who pray for the right person – who trust God to be God and organize the circumstances I join you in prayer for peace and happiness while you wait for Mr. Right or Ms. Right. I pray it will not be long. I pray as others have been blessed you will be. Not all have. I pray if it is not to be – the desire will be removed. I pray the salt in the wound goes away. I pray when you see others – especially the undeserving with the goods it will not destroy you or harm you spiritually. I pray you will see that they too have issues and their marriage may not be a match made in heaven.